Week 38- It's like getting hit with a wombo combo
Aloha 皆さん、
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I'm writing this one way earlier than I usually do because I thought it'd be good to write everything super fresh. This is gonna be a long one BAHAHAHAA.
So I got transferred. I'm now in Kure, Hiroshima. When I got the news I was pretty down not gonna lie. I LOVED Fukuoka with all my heart. I loved the friends we got to meet. I absolutely loved all the wonderful amazing missionaries I got to work with closely everyday. And I loved the members. Don't get me wrong I was hyped to go somewhere new but I truly felt like I left a part of my heart in Fukuoka.
The days leading up to the transfer and the day of were interesting. Everyone was telling me how inaka (countryside) kure was. When I imagine Inaka I think of rice paddy fields, cute oba-chans and oji-chans, and beautiful scenery. You know, like something out of a Ghibli film. Basically an extremely romanticized version of Japan LOL. Being in Kure, it's not really what I imagined (obviously).
But literally going against everything I have been trying to work on. Pride, comparisons, enduring trials. Moving to Kure has humbled me EXTREMELY. And honestly it was a little needed. When I got here I wasn't feeling any motivation. If I'm being honest I was extremely bitter. It didn't help that when I met my companion (Elder Trail is a cool dude) as he was explaining the friends that we have I came to the realization that none of them were really progressing at all. And I asked Elder Trail that, “so basically we don't have any progressing friends yet?” And he was like “yeahh pretty much.”
I was angry, and extremely prideful. “I worked so hard in Fukuoka, how could President do this to me?” “Why did I have to be sent to such a dead area?” I allowed in self pity and loathing for this area that I hadn't even gotten used to. I was mad that I had to restart, that I was alone. There was so much work to be done and I felt no motivation to do so. I woke up the next two mornings with absolute dread, dragging myself out of bed to start the day. I knew I wasn't going to survive the transfer if it kept going like this so I prayed for help.
Probably one of the few times where I've prayed no holds bars. Keeping everything extremely real, pride and all on the table. I wanted to love the area, and do the work I really did but I felt like I just couldn't. During personal study I came across a BYU devotional talk.
Lessons on Endurance J. TY Hopkins
Listening to this talk was amazing. It was exactly everything I needed to hear. It talks about how everyone thinks of endurance as this grinding it out feeling. Which I definitely thought this area was going to be. Just absolutely grinding this out, enduring till the end of the finish line (getting called to go somewhere else) and just not enjoying it at all. But that's not what Endurance is. Endurance can also be looking for the flowers and meadows after the thunder and rain. Paying attention to the good to enjoy the ride. Focusing on the process, not the product as we find joy in the hard work all the way to the finish line. How enduring will humble us and draw us closer to God.
Everyone has had that AHA! moment. Where they figure something out that helps them change their attitude or helps them become motivated. Yeah no, listening to that talk was not that. It felt like I got punched in the stomach, then as I doubled over got slammed in the jaw. I got hit with that 1-2 wombo combo by God. Every single one of my thoughts from before was “ME” “How could President do this to ME?” "why was I (me) sent to such a dead area?”
How could I have been so selfish? How could I have been so self-absorbed? Why did I even come out on a mission? WHY am I still here?
God hit me with these questions spinning around in my brain. Like never ending punches that wouldn't stop. And I needed it. How could I have given up before I even got started? “There's so much work to be done…” EXACTLY. THERE IS SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE! Instead of finding pity and anger in these words I now found joy. There's so much work to be done in this area and I am the one who gets to do it!
My mindset changed. Although I definitely still have my moments. I'm motivated, I'm excited. There's so much I want to do. It'll be hard, I'm aware. But as long as I look for the flowers and the meadows. Rely on God, pray and look to become better. I think I'll be okay.
BRAH okay that was long, whoops. If you read em all the way through I LOVE YOU! If you have any advice please send me an email! I will definitely need a ton of help this transfer (and probably the coming transfers as well). Let's move onto something less depressing BAHAHA.
HIGHLIGHTS🗿🙏
-HIROTAKA
-Saying goodbye
-Seeing awesome friends
Hirotaka!
DUDE, DUDE, DUDEEEEEEE. IM GONNA MISS THIS LAD BRO. Truly this transfer with Hirotaka was a roller coaster. And God was definitely having a laugh as he put some insane drops and build ups in the ride. BUT HE DID IT BRO HE GOT BAPTIZED! I'm so happy for him, even though I only got to watch him get baptized three times on zoom instead of in person it was probably the happiest I have EVER felt on my entire mission. Watching him accept the gospel and strive to come closer to Christ and work towards becoming a better person has been amazing. My heart is SO FULL. It was a little sad to say goodbye but it was also insanely fun. Bros just a chill guy🗿☝️If you want a full explanation on his journey though fr just read my past emails on my blog! I'm so happy, but all I have to say is….
Thank you brother😋☝️
Saying goodbye:
Saying goodbye to Fukuoka was rough but I have so much faith in the group of missionaries staying to do awesome work! There were so many awesome members, friends and missionaries I met in that area. Even though it was only 2.5 transfers I developed so much love for everyone there. I tried my best not to cry throughout the last week there 🗿
Seeing awesome friends:
Got to see some awesome missionaries at Hakata Station and just catch up for a little bit. It was awesome. Definitely excited for zone conference and hopefully a mission conference soon though.
But yeah Das all for real.
SHOOTS!
愛してるよ！
エリス長老
TheRisingSon
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