Week 67- Hope Core

 Aloha 皆さん、

Anyone TikTok doomscollers here? Yeah if you knownwhat im gonna talk about from my email title you are just as cooked as I am. If you don't it's okay, it just means you are most likely a productive human being that contributes to society. 

Nah nah just kidding. 

But anyways, this past week and recently overall I've been pretty down. Just overall feeling sad, stressed, or annoyed. With that has come a fat lack of patience for those around me. Which is a whole other problem. 

It's so easy for me to recognize my lack of patience (after the fact) because then I just regret whatever I just did/said/sent which kinda happened a lot this week (usually when I haven't had anything to eat)

But because I've been realizing or just acting out more recently I've just been very self aware. And honestly extremely down about it because I knew I should be better than that and I wanted a better hold over how I express frustration or deal with annoyance. 

I was overall just beating myself up about all that and then bam, crazy headache. 

Thanks God (nah just playing)

Anyways didn't feel any good at all so ended up resting that day. Woke up the next day and stoll had a headache but hey, we thug it out. Probably for the first time since Kure we did a good 2 and a half or three hours of pure housing. I'm not even joking we went to this complex with 11 floors, 10 rooms per floor. So 110 knocks. Not a single person wanted to listen to us. It was hot, I had a headache, and I was dying of thirst. In a bad mood and after being extremely spoiled being able to be in a city again, all I could think about was how much this sucks.

“Brah, what am I even doing here?”

“Where's all the miracles?”

Just mindset completely in the dumps. 

But I'm not even joking we were on the 10th or 11th floor and I look out into the city and just see a TON of houses and buildings and it clicked. 

It was beautiful.

Like a Hope Core TikTok in my head I just thought about how many people are in the Kitakyushu area. And that I was just a missionary. I don't know it just felt that things can and will get better. As long as I try to be better. Still try to do my best every when it's hard, even when it's hot. 

It felt even more like Hope Core once I got into my apartment with AC and got some water. 

It felt like heaven😭

Anyways for real though. No matter how cooked you are life can always get better. But if you give up and let defeat win then that's that. As long as you keep trying there us hope.

I really do have so much to work on so I thank God everyday that there is hope for me. And I know there is hope for you all too.

Highlights:

No cap I don't wanna write anymore brah just know that my week was good. Transfers are soon and I'm praying I stay (or go to Kagoshima with the boys)

Kay den Das all

Shoots!

愛してるよ~

エリス長老

TheRisingSon